I'm Gonna Be Startin' Somethin'

There's always room for another fresh start. I am deeply considering a project ME opportunity. I've talked with Ivana about it and with my newly-found image consultant Deb...and I believe they will both participate. I can't tell you ALL details, but I can tell you that at least 1 new podcast will launch from my website before Labor Day this year...and that means a great deal of self focus.

I will be an ordained Interfaith minister this summer and to that end I plan to be involved with internet radio and podcasting - I will be in the public eye more so my image is even more important to me than it was when I could hide in a studio and simply be a voice.

Deb is going to help me find my image...because at the moment I stick to comfortable bum clothes while at the radio station and comfortable slightly nicer than bum clothes while working on the office side. What I want to do is wear the clothes I enjoy the look and feel of (mainly dresses, skirts) but can't find a practical reason to wear.  I hate shopping for clothes. I hate being in any one store for too long. I hate checkout counters. I hate the anticipation of being able to get out of there and on with my day. I feel like a guy shopper - I like to know what i want, get what i want, and get out.

Most of the time that means without trying anything on.

But, when I get something I really really like, I try it on and check it in the mirror, and make everyone around me take a look. I have been known to sleep in boots I fell in love with. Raincoats, too. Bathing suits. Just for the first night home.

So, while I hate the feel of being in a store, I love the feel of wearing something I truly like. A dilemma Deb will help with as she merges my wants with my needs for accommodating my body size, shape. Good luck to her!

So, Ivana: Nutrition. Cara: Wellness Deb: Image. Barb: Fitness. I have had to scale back a lot of things since my mom became ill. I am paying mom's bills. I'm meeting with Barb today to see whether she and I can pick back up...to see if she is willing to join me in my new project ME which I am going to make public if all goes according to plan. First, I have to secure my "A Team." Then, I have to convince two industry acquaintances that project ME is a worthwhile endeavor and that they should climb aboard. If I am able to do what I want to (but am afraid to!) I will have something big to tell you soon.

ME, convincing someone else that I am worthwhile.

Holy smoke, what has therapy done to my brain?  Where did this confidence come from?

Can I keep it?

Down a Pound!

And I'm just about to "break a ten" - what I say when I bust through a tens spot on the scale and move down in weight (hopefully to never see those higher numbers again!) I hope to have broken it by next week. That will be stellar. STELLAR, I say. Do people still use "stellar"? Maybe I'm a dork.

They are a-changing...

Good news: I haven't gained any weight (even with my non-food-logging weekend!) I didn't lose any either and that's ok.

Better News: My trainer Barb is back from her vacation so gym time was better than it is when I trudge it alone. It is great to see her and to hear what she has to say because I've got enough of a history of learning A&P from massage school and college to understand the physiology of what is happening with my body and I can isolate muscle groups mentally so when she's referring to something or asking me a question, we can both be pretty specific and that is nice.

I explained that I've been doing the mile in her absence and that I wanted to be ready to take on more today...but that I have gotten tired my last two times on the treadmill and had to split my mile up into halfs with rest in between. I couldn't explain why... but she was there to tap on my skull with the DUH hammer and asked, "have you increased your speed?"

Well...yes. I've been kicking the speed up as much as I can becauseIjustwanttogetthewalkoverwith - honest truth! My genius fitness instructor then said, "You're going to get tired earlier if you have your speed kicked up like that. SLOW DOWN."  I made faces. She's right, though, and I hadn't even thought of that as a reason. I like to think I have a rational mind and could have worked that one out on my own, but I sincerely felt it was a mystery, my not being able to finish a whole mile in one stretch, since I'd been finishing a whole mile in one stretch for about two weeks. DUH, Wendy. :)

Now that my brain is in sync with perspective, I'll be doing one long-ass (takes too long!) mile twice a week and then doing shorter bursts of faster walking (she hopes at least a half mile) once a week while at the gym. (This on top of my free weights and nautilus training stuff...of course!) In between days, I get to be sore and walk funny, which is okay...I'm used to it.

So, yeah. Lesson for today is: Consider the obvious, stupid!

Group starts in two weeks (that's when I'll be changing my diet) and I can't wait to meet The Others. I like coach Ivana quite a bit and I can see validity in the things she has to say.  I expect things will get tougher before they get easier when it comes to the diet stuff because I already know some of the foods I will be giving up for a while (or life). I just have to keep in mind that it's all for a good cause: Me.

Hey, I must be doing well because I just called myself a good cause. That's pretty great.