The Strange Changes

"Dear God, never again." It sounds like post-party anguish when you can't count how many shots of whiskey you put down, but are convinced you will not so much as look at whiskey again. That's how I felt by the end of the day of the Highland County Maple Festival.

I belong to a Real Foods group that meets once a month to discuss various topics and, occasionally, we attend regional events. So, I was kind of excited to go a few hours away to find real Virginia maple syrup and try....oh, everything.

Don't get ahead of me here. I AM eating low(er) carbs meals than I have done in the past. I DO know that real maple syrup translates to real sugar, real carbs; however, I felt prepared to go and try many different maple-infused items (just to see what they are like) and I could reason all of this to be OK because I had a plan:

Three of us went on the trip. If we bought one of pretty much everything and shared it between us then I would end up with a bite or two of this or that and be OK by the end of the day. It was a great idea that could help me keep from that godawful full of junk foods feeling one often gets at these events by the end of the day.

Also, I wanted to make time to see things: visit crafts booths, tour a sugar camp, walk around, be active.

That was the plan and it went splendidly until I began tasting things.

Maple-covered peanuts from Laurel Fork Sapsuckers

I ate two handfuls of maple-candy covered peanuts. They were delicious! I bought a bag and have since had a few more (like 8 or so) and then I gave the rest to my in-laws so I wouldn't finish them. There are some ingredients in this bag that I stay away from with my diet so it was good to pass the yum on to someone else.

Then someone at the sugar camp tour told me there was this other amazing camp that makes maple donuts and pretty much sells out every year. Off to Puffinbarger's Sugar Camp we went...in search of these.

Puffinbarger Sugar Camp's Maple Donut

This looks angelic, right? But it tasted like blah to me. Now before you go thinking they don't know how to make a donut....think again. The shop was packed with people coming out the door and it took nearly an hour to have this particular donut in hand. This donut felt strange in my mouth and tasted gluey and slightly maple-like. It wasn't the BAM! WOW! confection I'd been convinced it would be. But why? The other two Real Foods enthusiasts couldn't get enough of them. Me? I was turned off.

Hmmm.

So we went for lunch a little while later...and had fried fish sandwiches from a local trout farm.

From a little stand outside Virginia Trout Company

The trout was so so tasty, I felt like I could eat again! And I would just ten or fifteen minutes later. See, one of our members is a vegetarian and needed a lunch that wasn't trout. Off we went to see about the highly acclaimed buckwheat pancakes we heard so many other tourists talk about.

Buckwheat pancakes with Virginia maple syrup

By this point, I wasn't hungry for syrup OR pancakes but decided I would try just to say I did. I couldn't finish this half a pancake, but I did guzzle down a pint of milk. Guess I needed that. The pancakes tasted good to me - they remind me a lot of raisin bran cereal flakes. Is that the way they are supposed to taste? Got me! But they did and I liked them enough, but not enough to finish. Like the donut, I just wasn't getting much from this stuff. Could we go back for more trout?

We spent the day looking at so many things and really enjoyed the people and the atmosphere of the festival...and it was a beautiful, beautiful day to be in the mountains. On the way home, there was ice cream and I thought, hmmm... maybe we could get one and split it (still had the game plan I began with!) And we did.

Ice cream stand just beside Sugar Town Antiques

And I could take about four bites of it before it was too much. It tasted amazingly good - like a dream, really - and I couldn't go on. What was UP with me?

After thinking this over for several days, I conclude that my palate has changed considerably. It really has. I can only guess that eating low carb has had this affect because I craved real food the entire day. I wanted more of that trout. I wanted spinach. I wanted salad.

Let's look at this day through the eyes of Wendy 2011: That bag of covered peanuts? I'd have at least eaten half of it. Maple donut? Psh, I would make sure two, if not three, would be mine. Trout sandwich? EWR. That sounds gross.  OMG Pancakes! Yes, I will have two. And I would finish them. I'd feel so full, but I would finish them. And then ice cream? To each their own. I'd want the entire cup. And even if it meant driving and eating with it melting all over, I'd spoon and drive. On a full stomach, gorging on sugar, a pre-diabetic.

So when I sometimes think this low carbs thing is too slow or isn't working, it may be helpful to remember the Highland County Maple Festival because Wendy 2013 just couldn't take it. Thank God, right?!

How'm I Doin?

Diet-wise, pretty well considering I'm in MA and old habits creep in very easily when I'm here. It's tough to refrain from old favorites like Venus pizza and Marcello's meatball subs, but I have avoided both pretty well. Didn't go to Mia's for pasta either - but I diiiiiid indulge in Peaceful Meadow's ice cream for my lunch today and my body told me (in no uncertain terms) not to do that again.

Being off of simple carbs and sugar for over six weeks means that a reintroduction can prove ugly for your GI tract - just FYI, no photos here. 

I am feeling the need to eat more veggies though. Eating on the go, as I am right now, it is tough to find good, green vegetables that aren't BROCCOLI every meal. Salads get boring.... so can't wait to go home and fix normal food again. Seriously.

When going home day is...I still don't know.

I had a good day, all told. I was able to do some laundry, met my mom's lawyer, got a whole bunch of stuff sorted out as far as her assets and income and what to do with what because mom has made it clear I should prepare for a time she won't be with me any more. I hate the very thought of it.

Tuesday, she took her rings off her fingers and made me take them, which nauseates me still. I know she is doing this to have peace of mind about stuff and to make sure she gives people what she wants them to have but I'm not -ready-. I want my mom still.

I've not cried as much lately because I feel like the hospital she is in is very good with her, very attentive, and I don't have to worry as much about her safety. Tomorrow we'll see a renal specialist and know a little bit more about their treatment options. Seems before she even has her heart valve looked at...they have to help her get her kidneys back to good. We are all hoping they can be. Hoping, praying, hoping, praying.

How YOU doin?  I really want to know.

Sugar Addiction Looks Like This:

I can see so much of my behavior in this comic about cake. the story and pictures are so funny but that pinch of truth remains. This is how it feels to be addicted to sugar - vengeful feelings and all! Please have a look. and by all means: share.

Hyperbole and a Half: God of Cake!

Protein vs Carbs for Breakfast

I use Lose It! to food log and be accountable with my friend JD who is on there to drop a few pounds himself - he is a madman when it comes to walking and exercise and is very inspiring!

But that's not why I'm here right now. I wanted to tell you about a blog post I made on Lose It! a number of weeks ago when, after eating a bagel, I felt damned near lethargic. Fatigue was in my every single fiber, I kid you not. I queried on the Lose It! forum about it and got a range of responses, including a moderator who told me there was no freakin' way I would feel that horrible that quickly. She mentioned that blood sugar changes wouldn't be that fast...and maybe she is right. I can tell you I felt like absurdly tired and could barely, barely function at my DESK JOB within minutes of killing that bagel.

I have to think it's the carbs? The sugar? I felt next to comatose - no exaggeration.

This morning I overate. I had a big breakfast with steak and eggs and I even tried some sausage because I was weeeeak looking at it. I overate and should have felt the way I do after Thanksgiving dinner, but I did not at all. Fatigue wasn't even a factor.

I can GUARANTEE you that if I had an english muffin or bagel or plated myself some hashbrowns or home fries or had a biscuit on top of it all, I would not have been able to drive afterward.

That's the difference between protein & veg breakfasts versus simple and sometimes even complex carbs (not that I bothered with veg this morning. I was horrible!)

It is really hard staying away from carbs because they taste good or look good or bring fond memories at times...but the trade off? That feeling of sludge in my veins? It just isn't worth it.

Not. At. All.

I HATE feeling so tired and disabled.

Today's pure protein breakfast beat the shit out of wanting a bagel or biscuit. For real.

So much for vacationing!

A few days before Christmas, I started eating sugary things. I'd eat a cookie here, a cupcake there, toss in a little candy and Christmas started feeling like an opportunity to go for the sweets I can (and do) usually pass by.

We had two cookie-making days at my house during which gobs of kids made piles of cookies. Some were taken home but a lot of them stayed here. I've been packing cookies for folks at work and other places ever since - to the protest of my child who wants them all to stay right here in our house.

"I've been spacing them out, not eating them all at once, and you're giving them all away!!"

I'm not giving them all away, though. I'm eating some of them, just grazing, while looking in the fridge for something edible, so I want them out and away from me. Rar! Yet, I understand her feelings. She did make them and all. Part of me says we are all better off without them around anyhow and then there's that want to let my kid have her cookies thing that comes into play.

Either way, I've decided I will still give away cookies, but moderately so she has time to eat some, and I'll also stay away from them from here on out. Christmas is ended, though its spirit remains, and I want to get back on track for a couple of reasons:

Sugar really does cause a blood pressure spike for me.

I have had headaches so many times this week...and I can find nothing else to blame for it.

I am hungry...all the time. I keep needing food. Without simple carbs and sugar in my diet, I feel hungry regularly but not constantly. I went from having a reasonable schedule to grazing more and more.

I am tired all the time and not sleeping well.

I know I've gained weight. I don't even want to look at how much.

My physical ability is already beginning to shrink. I get tired fast. I get sore, too. Screw this!!



So, it's out of my life again. This feels a lot like quitting smoking does where, if you go back to it, you run the risk of not being able to put it down.

But, my mind is full of belief that I can quit sugar again, so here I go. I am not skipping the gym this week as I'd intended (cause I am feeling both guilty and tired). I am going.

Beginning today. Every time I was hungry today, I stayed sugar-free in my "picking" of foods. It may take me a little while to get back to where I was, and with such momentum, but I will do it. And I am going to get ready for that SEAL team training, too. I won't be starting tomorrow; however, another class begins the first week of February. I want on that bus. :)

So, the sugar seminar.

The Case Against Sugar was an interesting couple of hours. Guest speaker Gary Taubes brought his power point talking points and shared his knowledge from having spent years researching the loaded question of whether sugar is a toxin for the body or not.

In case studies, results are inconclusive; however, Taubes says that a majority of these case studies are at the behest of and financially supported by the very companies who wouldn't want the world to discover that sugar is as dangerous as it is - companies like Coca-Cola who use sugar and sugar substitutes like chemically-engineered fructose in their products. Interesting, that.

I haven't done the research and I can honestly say I might never try and crunch any numbers. I may not even go whole hog, as they call it, and lynch the soft drink companies who grant money for these reportedly "fixed" results and lobby money into the American government to keep the industry thriving.

What I can say is that, aside from the time-consuming study, it doesn't take a genius to understand that each of our bodies, as God-made as we are, is capable of having its own tolerances and allergies, apart from our human sameness. Some people can't eat peanuts. If they do, they will break out in hives, asphyxiate and, if left untreated, die. Some people can't process animal milk enzymes. They get severe stomach pain and it digests into the you don't want to know whats. Sometimes, they need to be hospitalized because the pain is excruciating.

So, who's to say Taubes isn't right that sugar is poison to people? Is it poison for ALL people? I couldn't tell you - and I probably couldn't know. But, I can agree that sugar kills. Folks with diabetes type II can blame sugar for their illness. There are endocrine specialists who will tell you that some people just cannot process sugar and maintain optimal health.

I believe I am one of them. I've not been a sweets person much - not a cupcake and cookie eater, not a candy sneak, none of that. I have filled up on simple carbohydrates that very quickly break down into simple sugars and enter my blood stream before digestion even has much of a chance to work. It works that way in your body, too, you see...but, in my body, the surge taxes my liver and sends distress calls to my pancreas and my kidneys (already so tired) get like "oh, no, not you again." and then my body shuts down. I get tired. I get lazy. I get sluggish. I can't continue without a nap.

I am already dealing with hypothyroidism...so adding sugar is like signing up for sleep camp. While other kids will be ready for a good time of fire songs and day hikes, I'll be snoring and very difficult to wake.

So, I do believe Taubes when he traces a disease to its cause and it just so happens to be sugar, or simple carbs, is the X factor. I had an interesting time.

Next post, I'll talk with you about stamina and stuff.

Thoughts before sleep...

I have been quite busy this week, but wanted to tell you things are getting better. I feel good right now - better in a lot of ways.

My state of mind is much better. It's only been a few days since that deep stuff came up about my mom and I am already beginning to think of my health and long-term goals thanks to talks with Barb and my friend who I mentioned. She gives me courage. And my BFE, Steve, is good at encouragement, too.

Robert is now eating from the same foods list I am because he sees my happiness is real. Yesterday, Hopper told me to turn around....so I did, thinking I had something stuck to me. I had no idea she was inspecting my behind. "Your butt is smaller," she said. Then she walk ed away.

The three of us attended a seminar on "The Case Against Sugar," which was somewhat insightful. There is not a lot of supportive scientific evidence that sugar is 100% to blame for obesity or molecular disease; however, the lecture showed the trail leading from heart disease to sugar (going backwards to find the source) and also diabetes...and cancer.

When the American and European diets are compared to Asian and African diets in terms of sugar consumption and disease & death rates, sugar does seem to be a major contributor toward our differences overall.

It is humbling to note that as advanced as we feel we are medically and holistically in this country, it seems we still can't agree on how to treat the body and what the root causes of our pain and suffering are on a molecular level. It just makes me even more aware of how incredible our bodies are and how utterly designed they are...and just like stars and planets, those who study us have barely cracked the surface even as advanced as study has become. Amazing.

To know everything and understand nothing...that's a sentiment that makes Zen practitioners smile - and me, too.