I'm Gonna Be Startin' Somethin'

There's always room for another fresh start. I am deeply considering a project ME opportunity. I've talked with Ivana about it and with my newly-found image consultant Deb...and I believe they will both participate. I can't tell you ALL details, but I can tell you that at least 1 new podcast will launch from my website before Labor Day this year...and that means a great deal of self focus.

I will be an ordained Interfaith minister this summer and to that end I plan to be involved with internet radio and podcasting - I will be in the public eye more so my image is even more important to me than it was when I could hide in a studio and simply be a voice.

Deb is going to help me find my image...because at the moment I stick to comfortable bum clothes while at the radio station and comfortable slightly nicer than bum clothes while working on the office side. What I want to do is wear the clothes I enjoy the look and feel of (mainly dresses, skirts) but can't find a practical reason to wear.  I hate shopping for clothes. I hate being in any one store for too long. I hate checkout counters. I hate the anticipation of being able to get out of there and on with my day. I feel like a guy shopper - I like to know what i want, get what i want, and get out.

Most of the time that means without trying anything on.

But, when I get something I really really like, I try it on and check it in the mirror, and make everyone around me take a look. I have been known to sleep in boots I fell in love with. Raincoats, too. Bathing suits. Just for the first night home.

So, while I hate the feel of being in a store, I love the feel of wearing something I truly like. A dilemma Deb will help with as she merges my wants with my needs for accommodating my body size, shape. Good luck to her!

So, Ivana: Nutrition. Cara: Wellness Deb: Image. Barb: Fitness. I have had to scale back a lot of things since my mom became ill. I am paying mom's bills. I'm meeting with Barb today to see whether she and I can pick back up...to see if she is willing to join me in my new project ME which I am going to make public if all goes according to plan. First, I have to secure my "A Team." Then, I have to convince two industry acquaintances that project ME is a worthwhile endeavor and that they should climb aboard. If I am able to do what I want to (but am afraid to!) I will have something big to tell you soon.

ME, convincing someone else that I am worthwhile.

Holy smoke, what has therapy done to my brain?  Where did this confidence come from?

Can I keep it?

On Being "Mostly Beautiful"

You already know what I'm talking about. I've spent a lot of my life being "gorgeous" and "really pretty" and all things attractive with that big IF word following right along. "Wendy, you're gorgeous. If only you could lose the weight." "You know, you're really pretty. If you lost weight, you'd be AMAZING."

Today, I feel mostly beautiful all of the time.

Maybe it would help to stop telling little girls they are pretty with the IF word or the BUT word attached. It's hard to feel attractive...only this much. That "You would be even more if..." just sinks like a rock to the bottom of your soul.

I'm still struggling with who I see in the mirror.

Less of that, please.