Internal Reboot

I don't care what anybody says, changing my diet has been a tremendous event - and a tumultuous one! One week I am up, the next I am down... and in some weeks I am up and down emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually - ALL OF IT!

This week has been one of those mixed varieties where I feel good about having sought relationships with the people who are knowledgeable and can support my weight loss and my changes in a positive way and I feel bad about eating poorly: not really eating on time, skipping meals, eating high calorie foods in a hurry to replenish me because I've skipped eating too much....and not really exercising.

To be fair, I've had some really emotional weeks of changing my life around: finding help for mom, taking care of my home, my family, realizing the impact of how spread out I am and how much it affects how I feel about myself...and that when I do that, I am disappointing others who depend on me. I have come to realize my way of doing too many things really bites it.

So, I've been paring back here and there to narrow my focus on what I feel I am supposed to do most: to minister with love and humility to a wider audience than I am currently keeping. I hope that I do so via radio, but I've yet to see how it will come to pass. What I know is that I have to set my path on that ministry goal and be ON it - and I have to set my mind on spending REAL time with my family doing the things we've been saying we'll do and never getting around to it.

I have had to ask myself, "Who is this Wendy of incompleteness and why is she in my life?" Because I'm a lot better than that. Thanks to my coaches in nutrition, physical exercise and mental balance, I've got a clearer picture of the Wendy I need to be. She has been lost...or maybe she has not even had the chance to be in existence.... but it's time she was.

I'm sure I will have good days and bad days, up and down weeks, and all kinds of distraction to keep me thinking, but I hope to remember that I've taken a stand for humility and that is why I'm here.

So, I've let go of things I can't commit to properly and I am humbly carrying on toward my goals of health, family and ministry - even though it makes me cry and is hard to accept.

I have to get the weight off.