Maybe if I treat my blog like a New Year tip jar I will update frequently enough. I am willing to try!
So, here I am. I have managed to lose 1 pound in a year. One. Yep. I'll not go over how I feel about that because I know you can fill in for me. I don't feel any differently than you would. So, I lost one pound ultimately in 2013. I lost several pounds over and over and over, just did not keep them off.
I am still in the U.Va. study to monitor blood glucose and learn to handle Diabetes the way it really has to be. I wish there were other ways...like anyone who has to jab her finger 6 or more times a day and then DO something about the results she sees...but I'm able to accept that taking care of this is an unchanging, unyielding process.
I started a TOPS group in May and have been its leader all the while - which makes the loss of one total pound for the year all kinds of embarrassing. I am facing it, though, and with a deep breath am going to keep to staying positive and keep going to my meetings and keep starting over. Eventually, something has to click. Right?
I'm about to teach sedentary people how to move their bodies. I so wish I had this idea when my mom was alive. I wish I dropped everything else in my life and went to her the way my head always said to...and I wish I worked with her to get us both healthy. I can't now - not with her - and I can't realistically drop everything yet I am going to spend one Thursday a week with (hopefully) a few people who have not moved very much in a long time and who want to be present in their bodies and begin somewhere. This is exercise and also therapy for me. We can help each other.
I have begun the new year by outlining my next Best Year Yet. My focus is my health (all aspects of my health) and so many things contribute to the success of my health...things I didn't realize could or would...and the first is joy. Whatever I do, I am surrounding myself with joy.
My first step. I am putting more design effort into my kitchen. It is already a room that I love very much. Now I am amping it up by adding the decor that has spent years on Pinterest and in my head...and hasn't made its way to my wall. My kitchen is going to be a place of joy for me where I can create healthy meals for myself and my friends and family - a place I not only love to be in but am good at taking care of myself in.
Otherwise I am just taking care to continue routine skin care and teeth brushing and hair setting/styling that always makes me feel good and fresh and relaxed. For Christmas I bought myself a new set of skin care products but I may go back to my previous set because the organics stuff I'm trying seems to make me break out a whole lot. It's weird? Chemicals for the win? The stuff I normally buy is pricey...and maybe it is a get what I pay for thing?
I put some more stuff on Pinterest that I will get for myself when I reach certain goals. I don't like to think I am materialistic. I guess I really am. Whatever, though. This is about joy. Sometimes things make me happy. Things are better for me than food.
Welcome, 2014.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Friday, October 11, 2013
The Killer Inside
" Diabetes has been recognized as a distinct medical
condition for at least 3,500 years, but its cause was a mystery
until early this century. In the early 1920s, researchers strongly
suspected that diabetes was caused by a malfunction in the digestive
system related to the pancreas gland, a small organ that sits on
top of the liver.
At that time, the only way to "control" diabetes was through a diet low in carbohydrate and sugar, and high in fat and protein. Instead of dying shortly after diagnosis, this diet allowed diabetics to live - but only for about a year. " Follow this link for an Insulin history source.
But why would people with Diabetes die so soon after diagnosis before a human-safe insulin was created? Probably because by the time a doctor could diagnose someone, it was far, too late. Diabetes is a very quiet, consistent killer.
Think of a meticulous psychopath who plans his moves and covers his tracks extremely well. He appears friendly, even charismatic, and you feel comfortable in his presence. Little do you know he is prone to rage and can comfortably, swiftly take as hostage any victim who looks appealing to him. He is tough to pin down. He can kill for years before anyone even knows it's him - assuming anyone ever does.
Now name this psychopath "Sugar." Sugar is so good at taking lives that it can escape formal diagnosis (in cases like heart attacks, strokes). It comes in many forms which can confuse or trick people into thinking they are safe. What's worse is nobody wants to believe it. And, finally, Sugar has an addictive personality. No matter how you try you just can't seem to get rid of him. He can charm his way back to you.
How can something/someone be so sweet and feel so good yet be so malicious and deadly? You can dwell on that mystery or you can equip yourself with awareness and protect yourself from harm.
Yeah, we're all going to die. Why not live long and relatively healthy, much less painful, lives until that happens?
I am not a doctor. I'm taking part in a Glycemic Load, Exercise and Blood Glucose study through the University of Virginia. Feel free to ask me any questions about what I am learning and doing.
At that time, the only way to "control" diabetes was through a diet low in carbohydrate and sugar, and high in fat and protein. Instead of dying shortly after diagnosis, this diet allowed diabetics to live - but only for about a year. " Follow this link for an Insulin history source.
But why would people with Diabetes die so soon after diagnosis before a human-safe insulin was created? Probably because by the time a doctor could diagnose someone, it was far, too late. Diabetes is a very quiet, consistent killer.
Think of a meticulous psychopath who plans his moves and covers his tracks extremely well. He appears friendly, even charismatic, and you feel comfortable in his presence. Little do you know he is prone to rage and can comfortably, swiftly take as hostage any victim who looks appealing to him. He is tough to pin down. He can kill for years before anyone even knows it's him - assuming anyone ever does.
Now name this psychopath "Sugar." Sugar is so good at taking lives that it can escape formal diagnosis (in cases like heart attacks, strokes). It comes in many forms which can confuse or trick people into thinking they are safe. What's worse is nobody wants to believe it. And, finally, Sugar has an addictive personality. No matter how you try you just can't seem to get rid of him. He can charm his way back to you.
How can something/someone be so sweet and feel so good yet be so malicious and deadly? You can dwell on that mystery or you can equip yourself with awareness and protect yourself from harm.
Yeah, we're all going to die. Why not live long and relatively healthy, much less painful, lives until that happens?
I am not a doctor. I'm taking part in a Glycemic Load, Exercise and Blood Glucose study through the University of Virginia. Feel free to ask me any questions about what I am learning and doing.
Monday, October 7, 2013
But I Knew Everything
Best news first: I am on the behavioral side of the study. Yaaaaaay! It feels good to get excited about my health. I've missed that feeling.
I came home with a binder full of information on the Glycemic Load, Exercise, Blood Glucose (GLEBG) program/Diabetes management and got right to work. One of the first things I learned is that I know next to nothing about Type II Diabetes. I'll start with what I did know:
My grandmother and her sister had Type II Diabetes. My mom had it. It runs in my family.
You can't eat a lot of sugar if you have Diabetes.
You can take medicine but if your Diabetes gets worse, you have to be able to give yourself shots.
The disease is with you for life.
People can lose their legs, feet or toes.
People can get Neuropathy or nerve damage.
It is really hard to manage Diabetes.
A lot of people have it.
Fat people get it.
What I didn't know:
When blood sugar leaks into your body, it corrodes your arteries and nerves.
"Complications of Diabetes" are heart attacks and strokes and other known events that happen to cause death in the body.
Anyone can get it. It's not necessarily a "getting-fat-comes-first" disease.
With practice and diligence, it's not really hard to manage Diabetes.
Diabetes doesn't get worse all by itself. Lifestyle and habits help it along.
Stress and trauma elevate blood sugar and can launch you into hyperglycemia.
You can use the glycemic index to help you navigate through which foods are safer for Diabetics to eat.
I'll know more as we go. The biggest revelation for me was that even though people I love have lost limbs and my mom told stories of her neuropathy....I didn't truly understand how critical Diabetes management is. The routine of taking blood sugar and watching my loved ones eat sugar-free candies was just another part of a normal environment for me. But so was a diet of heavy foods and minimal exercise. And so was complaining. When all of that becomes regular to you, just part of daily life, you really don't know there is a freer way to live. This is what is normal. You accept it. The scary thing is, nothing that ought to be alarming stands out when everything feels like mundane business as usual.
This week I'm learning to take blood glucose readings a few times a day and am monitoring how I feel before and after meals. It's a first step in the first week of being in this study. I have a feeling I will learn more than I ever wanted to know about Type II Diabetes. Lucky you get to come along with me.
I came home with a binder full of information on the Glycemic Load, Exercise, Blood Glucose (GLEBG) program/Diabetes management and got right to work. One of the first things I learned is that I know next to nothing about Type II Diabetes. I'll start with what I did know:
My grandmother and her sister had Type II Diabetes. My mom had it. It runs in my family.
You can't eat a lot of sugar if you have Diabetes.
You can take medicine but if your Diabetes gets worse, you have to be able to give yourself shots.
The disease is with you for life.
People can lose their legs, feet or toes.
People can get Neuropathy or nerve damage.
It is really hard to manage Diabetes.
A lot of people have it.
Fat people get it.
What I didn't know:
When blood sugar leaks into your body, it corrodes your arteries and nerves.
"Complications of Diabetes" are heart attacks and strokes and other known events that happen to cause death in the body.
Anyone can get it. It's not necessarily a "getting-fat-comes-first" disease.
With practice and diligence, it's not really hard to manage Diabetes.
Diabetes doesn't get worse all by itself. Lifestyle and habits help it along.
Stress and trauma elevate blood sugar and can launch you into hyperglycemia.
You can use the glycemic index to help you navigate through which foods are safer for Diabetics to eat.
I'll know more as we go. The biggest revelation for me was that even though people I love have lost limbs and my mom told stories of her neuropathy....I didn't truly understand how critical Diabetes management is. The routine of taking blood sugar and watching my loved ones eat sugar-free candies was just another part of a normal environment for me. But so was a diet of heavy foods and minimal exercise. And so was complaining. When all of that becomes regular to you, just part of daily life, you really don't know there is a freer way to live. This is what is normal. You accept it. The scary thing is, nothing that ought to be alarming stands out when everything feels like mundane business as usual.
This week I'm learning to take blood glucose readings a few times a day and am monitoring how I feel before and after meals. It's a first step in the first week of being in this study. I have a feeling I will learn more than I ever wanted to know about Type II Diabetes. Lucky you get to come along with me.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Guinea Pig Me
I've joined the Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus blind study at U.Va.'s Center for Behavioral Medicine Research. Not sure which control group I'll belong to just yet, but I am very much hoping to be in the behavior modification group rather than the group that is dependent on the use of Metformin to regulate insulin for the next six months.
My intent for signing up is to follow whatever instructions I'm given over the study period and I have some apprehension in doing so...mainly because to complete the study successfully, I will have to test my blood sugar several times a day, every day, for the next six months. I want to be a fair and dedicated participant so I will only go ahead with signing on the dotted line (so to speak) if I believe I can endure all those finger pricks. Initially, they're not going to bother me. Over time, if my fingertips become sore or sensitive or, worse, unfeeling, I am bound to get angry.
SO some adjustment is going to be necessary. Lots of patience for the redundancy of logging my blood sugar numbers. The flip side - the best side - is that, with U.Va.'s help, I will learn how my body responds to my eating behavior and how it responds to my lifestyle, too. OR I will learn how it responds to Metformin. Yeah. PLEASE LET ME BE IN THE NON-MEDICATED GROUP!
I've printed my paperwork and will bring it with me to my initial visit, tomorrow morning, where I will sign it if I believe I can withstand all that blood sugar testing and record-keeping. Right now, the accountability of being on a program that is monitored by the doctor and nurse practitioner at the center could provide enough emotional fuel to keep my engine going at those times when I might run out. It's within reason to believe that small successes I reach along the way will provide all the emotional fuel I need to keep going.
As of Midnight, there is a restriction of eating or drinking anything but water. Tomorrow, I will weigh in, find out my fasting blood sugar number, have lots of diagnostic exams (including a stress test,) and take home my first week's worth of information on how to get started. I'm told it's going to be a three hour process.
Whew!
My intent for signing up is to follow whatever instructions I'm given over the study period and I have some apprehension in doing so...mainly because to complete the study successfully, I will have to test my blood sugar several times a day, every day, for the next six months. I want to be a fair and dedicated participant so I will only go ahead with signing on the dotted line (so to speak) if I believe I can endure all those finger pricks. Initially, they're not going to bother me. Over time, if my fingertips become sore or sensitive or, worse, unfeeling, I am bound to get angry.
SO some adjustment is going to be necessary. Lots of patience for the redundancy of logging my blood sugar numbers. The flip side - the best side - is that, with U.Va.'s help, I will learn how my body responds to my eating behavior and how it responds to my lifestyle, too. OR I will learn how it responds to Metformin. Yeah. PLEASE LET ME BE IN THE NON-MEDICATED GROUP!
I've printed my paperwork and will bring it with me to my initial visit, tomorrow morning, where I will sign it if I believe I can withstand all that blood sugar testing and record-keeping. Right now, the accountability of being on a program that is monitored by the doctor and nurse practitioner at the center could provide enough emotional fuel to keep my engine going at those times when I might run out. It's within reason to believe that small successes I reach along the way will provide all the emotional fuel I need to keep going.
As of Midnight, there is a restriction of eating or drinking anything but water. Tomorrow, I will weigh in, find out my fasting blood sugar number, have lots of diagnostic exams (including a stress test,) and take home my first week's worth of information on how to get started. I'm told it's going to be a three hour process.
Whew!
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