That's right. I've been canned.
Well. My attitude has.
Before you go thinking I lost my job, I'll let you in on a fact known only to my close friends and nutritionist and counselor: I have struggled to get walking with any regularity. Despite mental efforts and emotional anguish, and external accountability (such as assuring a friend I would do the mud run this year) I have bypassed time on the treadmill for anything else I can think to fill time with. I will even do things I don't necessarily like to do...just to avoid stepping on that never-ending belt.
Some of the trouble is a not-so-healthy attachment, a codependency, I still have for my mother who died last summer. Some of the trouble is an irrational fear I can't define - an actual intimidation which builds anxiety. Some of the trouble is my horribly defiant personality. My BFE, my nutritionist, my own thoughts, knowledge of my mom's plight, reminders of the mud run tell me I should get on that thing. And she who does not like to be told what to do resists. RESISTS!
I believe there are no accidents in life, though there is pain and suffering, and before I tell you how I know my time has come....how I know my days of sedentary being are over...I have to introduce you to Carol Finch.
I met her once. Once was enough to spark an instant connection between the two of us (something I think Carol was able to create with many, many others). And knowing how frail she was from (eventually) several types of cancers seriously taking a toll on her, knowing I might never see her in person again, I signed up for her monthly email alerts where she'd give an update on her treatments and options and remind us all that even in the face of her hardships she was going to her job as much as she could and volunteering in the community which she loved. She went to yoga. She went to lung cancer awareness and fundraising events. She did not stop until Monday when she died.
Here is a glimpse through the eyes of someone she worked with.
"Carol redefined the term “community stewardship” as she freely gave her time and expertise to dozens of not-for-profit foot race events each year. My guess is that at her healthiest she helped run the results of 40 events on any given year. By my rough tabulation these events, thanks in great part to her wonderful leadership, raised over three million dollars for a variety of worthy community causes. Heck, even as recent as two weeks ago she was out helping at The Valentine’s 5K at Old Trail, which raised dollars for our local chapter of Amnesty International. In fact she was so determined to help to the very end, that she actually teleconferenced, from her hospital bed, advice to my daughter and other CTC volunteers, just this past Friday evening, as they registered folks for the MJ8K!"
That was Carol. At work on Friday, at rest, in peace on Monday.
Then I got her email update for February...on Tuesday morning. Of course it couldn't be her, but my fingers raced to open and read whatever this had to say.
"In Charlottesville, instead of a church service, we are planning have a gathering in celebration of Carol's life sometime in the next few weeks. Details to follow...
The Carol Finch Virtual Race
Walk, run, reminisce, and remember in celebration of Carol's life
Donations go to lung cancer research and can be giiven online or at registration.
We want each attendee to walk or run sometime in the weeks before the gathering. It doesn't have to be far—just a few yards is enough! Walk alone and remember; run in a group and reminisce as you go; run another race, … whatever. Just be ready to report a time and the distance. After all she recorded your times for decades.
At the gathering we will have recording stations, so that everyone can share a story of how Carol affected their lives. Then we can burn dvds and post the results online. The gathering will have: t-shirts, awards, grab bag prizes, food and drink."
Thank you, Carol (and her partner Coleman) for this gift. I can quiet my resistance, my fears, my unhealthy attachments and I can walk because I love you.
