SO I WENT

Boarded a plane, and stopped in Philly, with a final destination of Boston. My uncle and aunt flooded my ears with opinions of who is good for mom and who isn't, who may be using her, who's bringing on the drama, who's a pretty good help and so on. I took it all into consideration and went to my mom's readied for battle - but not willing to shut down the shop that is mom care. I hoped I wouldn't have to.

While there, I did manage to get my mom to come downstairs for Thanksgiving dinner. I also managed to ostracize one of her boarders, pissed my cousin off, reduced one of her caretakers' hours, hired someone new to work overnights and hired a house cleaner.

Two boarders, grown men, and I hired a house cleaner. Yeah. Meanwhile, mom's willing to try when I'm present but, when I am gone again, it appears that she reverts to her fatigue and lack of want to do anything to push herself and get better.

Sadly, I know this inertia...and probably many people do. We all complain about things and convince ourselves of doing what's easiest or laziest or uses the least amount of energy instead of working hard.

I've found that we often work hard at things we enjoy doing and anything else gets low or no priority. When you work at what you enjoy, the time flies and you sort of have to stop yourself from continuing way beyond a time that is fair to the rest of your life.

I don't know what my mom can do to make caring about herself something she enjoys. For me, cooking helps me to enjoy the low carb lifestyle - cooking and the detective work it takes to deconstruct familiar and well-loved recipes to build a better version without the use of foods that hurt my body. The end result, every time, is that I love taking care of myself when I figure out some genius way to make something I know I can eat and love and will not stress my liver or pancreas or heart by eating.

I left mom's happy that I didn't fall off the wagon - not even for Thanksgiving - and I didn't feel bad or left out by not eating pie, carrot cake, mashed potatoes or gobs of stuffing. I had some turkey, green beans, gravy and a little cranberry sauce <- some carbs in there, but choices I could live with very very happily.

I left mom with a daily schedule of round the clock care and a mention that if she really doesn't choose to help herself, then hospital care or a move to Virginia is next. I WILL move her here if it appears that she needs 24 hour care for the rest of her life. She has a window of opportunity right now to change that need...and I hope she can find fun in it. I hope she can come out of this. I'm prepared for if she can't, though, and I'm sticking to my boundaries.... and taking care of me.

Now, if only I can make exercising fun. I may have to join a dance class. It's the only exercise I truly LOVE to do.