Quick Mention

I am off to a school function for the Hopstar....so I will be brief (and I will answer comments later tonight!) just to tell you I am down one more pound....and I have details to share with you about my stamina and my appetite and cravings. Stay with me, k?

Thoughts before sleep...

I have been quite busy this week, but wanted to tell you things are getting better. I feel good right now - better in a lot of ways.

My state of mind is much better. It's only been a few days since that deep stuff came up about my mom and I am already beginning to think of my health and long-term goals thanks to talks with Barb and my friend who I mentioned. She gives me courage. And my BFE, Steve, is good at encouragement, too.

Robert is now eating from the same foods list I am because he sees my happiness is real. Yesterday, Hopper told me to turn around....so I did, thinking I had something stuck to me. I had no idea she was inspecting my behind. "Your butt is smaller," she said. Then she walk ed away.

The three of us attended a seminar on "The Case Against Sugar," which was somewhat insightful. There is not a lot of supportive scientific evidence that sugar is 100% to blame for obesity or molecular disease; however, the lecture showed the trail leading from heart disease to sugar (going backwards to find the source) and also diabetes...and cancer.

When the American and European diets are compared to Asian and African diets in terms of sugar consumption and disease & death rates, sugar does seem to be a major contributor toward our differences overall.

It is humbling to note that as advanced as we feel we are medically and holistically in this country, it seems we still can't agree on how to treat the body and what the root causes of our pain and suffering are on a molecular level. It just makes me even more aware of how incredible our bodies are and how utterly designed they are...and just like stars and planets, those who study us have barely cracked the surface even as advanced as study has become. Amazing.

To know everything and understand nothing...that's a sentiment that makes Zen practitioners smile - and me, too.

Phew!

That was one heck of a week - and it was only a half week of work! As you know, I came to terms inside regarding my mother...realizing there isn't anything I can do to make her choose positive, health-beneficial foods and activities (whatever she can do) even if I go up to her house and start ruling the roost.

I have a loving friend who shared her own experience of watching her father fall apart before her eyes and was able to tell that to me, with more detail, and also what she learned in that time about his care and her own self-care. Without breaking confidence, I can tell you that she understood me in just the way I needed last week and through her experience I was able to acknowledge just how much I can't let myself be so optimally responsible for my mother. As much as it kills me to watch her disappear, I can't be the who or what that changes her life. Only she can. And when she's ready, she has the help right there in her house: the cousin to cook, the friends to keep her company, family to visit, nurses to watch her health, a physical therapist to get her moving and a dietitian to lord over her menu...and on Friday, I put the word out to my spiritual community at school that I would like to hire someone else.

My mom's pastor has moved out of state and, while I can't be my mom's pastor, I do have friends who can counsel very lovingly and whose mission it is to help older adults in her position. They have patience where I do not. They have the ability to maintain boundaries, which I obviously have to work on. They're also working to become ordained and would not necessarily charge a fee, but I said I would contribute via donation in thanks for the help.

So, four people have responded and if all goes well, I will have given my mom a gift of someone to talk to who won't pressure her the way I do and who might be a good listener and be encouraging - all things I can do for my friends, but not for my mother.

I love laughing with my mom and just shooting the breeze, but when it comes to her inner and outer turmoil, I take on her stress and I do not respond well. Maybe it's due to having lived in an explosive family together that I act this way?

But, the boundary thing... I am working on the boundary thing. I met with Barb, my trainer, on Friday (I'm down two pounds!) and spent the hour we could have been using the treadmill and nautilus equipment and free weights just talking in her office...shedding tears about my mom and my anger and listening to Barb's observation that I have a problem setting boundaries and doing for me what I do for other people. She told me I need to be more self-FULL (not to be confused with selfISH) and...while I have to figure out how to BE that, I can see there is value to it in the things she's said and what my friend said also.

Centering on self. I've often tried to do that and then gotten sidetracked...and I don't realize how not centered on myself I am until I'm stressed like I was the other day from being soooooo absorbed in other people's problems.

I have to figure out how to balance caring about my things while I'm busy caring about theirs.

On a fun note: By doing this low carbs thing I am reminded of how much I like to cook. I really, really like to cook. I get a kick out of this and I'm making such good recipes. And I am going to host a dinner party soon. Watch!

P.S. Thank you, my unconditional friend, for your wisdom and the peek into your world's window last week. I am better for having experienced that.

Angry at Mom and then some

My mom's got a part time nutritionist who gives her Diabetic info and menus she has been handed for years. And my mom doesn't cook for herself. She can't leave the upstairs of her home. My cousin, a grown man in his sixties, cooks everything...and he and whoever else bring her what she wants.

Sometimes they bring her things prepared how they like it and not how the nutritionist wants it. Sometimes she skips the advice and disregards the menus and eats whatever she wants. Because she doesn't have the energy to try.

It's breaking my heart. I argue within myself and with her over the phone because I feel that I may have to go there and get her out of that rut. And how can I? I'm doing all I can to get out of my own rut! Would it be the blind leading the blind?

But the alternative is to do nothing. To wait and see. To watch, listen as she grows weaker, gains more weight, until she can't get out of bed. Right now, she can only walk between a couple of rooms before she has a hard time breathing. She cannot even go downstairs in her own home.

If there was a fire, she would die.

I feel like I am on that cliff again saying, "Come on, Mom, we can do this together. Just try....!" I feel desperate and sad while she stays up there on her second floor her being lost and alone and (for the most part) immobile.

It breaks my heart. I love my mother. I want her to fight.

And I pray that everything I do to get my own body healthy will work because I don't want my daughter to have to feel it is her responsibility to rescue me.

I'm so close to just driving up there and taking over her care (and she would HATE that) at the risk of all my jobs. She shouldn't die this way. Nobody should.

Okay, Greens...Here We Go

Tonight am attempting to make chicken soup with kale, red & yellow peppers, onions and mushrooms. No potatoes! No rice! I am hoping it will taste good. This is my attempt to eat green leafy things.

zero. zilch. three pounds spent!

I'm up three this week. I'm okay with that since I had a pretty full weekend of rich foods. Onward and downward, right? I also think I've got to get more greens in than I've been doing. The whole "how to incorporate more greens" issue keeps coming up with me. First, because I really, really dislike greens. Second, because I don't want them for breakfast...I already have some for dinner usually...and I don't want any at lunch. I have a feeling it would help a lot to include them, though. Something about roughage and fiber...I-dunno. *grin* Onward and downward, my friend.

I've got some things to share about my mom...but it hurts a little to talk about so I will think things over awhile then write what I've been thinking/learning. Love in the meantime!

Today is...

my happy birthday! Yaaaay! I didn't go for cake or anything tonight, just a NY strip steak, grilled asparagus and my new best friend: cauliflower mash... or as my b.f.e. calls it: "notatoes." Dinner was great.

My daughter presented me with a very, very thoughtful gift this afternoon. Recently, I'd gone through storage and started to purge a whole bunch of things...designating some things for consignment, some for yard sale, some for donation....things like that. She saw that I was donating a heap of you-only-wear-them-once prom and wedding party dresses and asked if she could have them. I said she could if she made good use of them (only because I'd intended to donate them to a prom outreach that gives dresses to girls in need) and she said she would.

Well, I'm not sure where the other dresses are...but, she recreated the one I wore as a bridesmaid in my oldest sister's wedding for a porcelain doll. She and her grandmother made the pattern and sewed it together so now I have a little version of the dress I wore on the doll. I was taken by her creativity and initiative and thoughtfulness - really taken. I'm stunned in the nicest way. I put the doll on my dresser so I can admire her work and the care she put into making it.

I make kind of a big deal about things I love, so she's rolling her eyes at me as the night wears on and threatening to take the dress and the doll back if I don't stop gushing. I can't help it though... who thinks of that?! At high school age?!

So, yeah, I had a lovely weekend and a couple of great days off with unbelievable surprise and tasty dinner. I'd say this is a very, very good start to a new year.

Much Needed Escape

I went away for the weekend to a bed & breakfast which I'd had a gift certificate for since Christmas. The place was quite grand and full of fine arts and antiques, a gorgeous wrap-around porch full of lounge chairs and rocking chairs, and an overall slightly too elegant feel. I felt a tiny bit out of place by the look and feel of the downstairs. If it wasn't for the owners, I might have believed the furniture indoors was not for sitting on, but admiring.

The host couple was very accommodating - very willing to work with my needs for breakfast and snacks. For instance, my gift certificate/package included a fruit tray (apparently) but the lady-owner prepared something with cheese and nuts so I could enjoy that. She also kept the mini fridge stocked with water! And while everybody else was eating what looked like amazing stuffed french toast for breakfast, I was having baked eggs with herbs. On the second day, she made spinach brownies with the tiniest amount of flour possible to keep my carbs count low. Very thoughtful, huh? BTW the spinach brownies? They were divine.

I was able to stick to my meal plan for most of the trip. In area restaurants, I ate steak & broccoli, eggplant rollatini w/sauteed spinach, and roast duck w/a green bean medley.

And then I let myself eat ice cream. :) Just once, at Coldstone Creamery, and I found out very quickly that the excitement of doing so wears off about halfway into the cup. Seriously! I was all jazzed to have it...and omg was it rich and creamy...but before I'd even finished it I felt like the flavor was just kind of there and eating it had lost its appeal.

So, I think that when/if I treat myself to something like this again, I will bear that in mind and go for a smaller portion. I thought I would destroy a medium cup that night...but I ran out of joy like my old Buick ran out of gas way before there was a sign of empty. It was a good lesson. I did like the ice cream and I'm still glad I went and had it. There were blissful moments of omg-this-is-amazing to make the decision worth it. Now I can get more with less.

I have to say the best tasting food the entire trip was that eggplant rollatini from Sal's. Out. Of. This. World. It was a mention in a list of appetizers in this sampler thing they offered and I asked if I could order it by itself. It was wonnnnnderful. :) And something I can probably produce from home when I want to make an Italian style-something again. Second, was that spinach brownie. I'm telling you, it was made of divinity.

I am totally pleased that I was able to stick to my plans this weekend. I didn't dip into a single bread basket or order any starchy sides - as tempting as they all were. I had my ice cream, as planned, and that was that. This is my pat on the back.

Still a loser....

Down three this week (which feels more reasonable to me) and still doing well with the meal plan. I could add more veggies to the day and very much intend to do so from here on except for Saturday. I'm having a birthday soon and I've decided to go ahead and have an ice cream on Saturday. They make a "sinless" sugar and fat free version that I'll sample before deciding whether to buy that, but there will be mix-ins. Just saying!

I realize the ice cream will have to be a meal (probably lunch) and it may do things to me I haven't experienced since eliminating sugar; however, I'm going to have an ice cream instead of making/having a birthday cake that will sit around the house and be within reach for days on end.

I plan to quietly celebrate this new birthday by having dinner with family - no friends - at my house and maybe play a game of cards or break into one of the board games in the hall closet. I won't have a cake (and I'll ask for them to not bring or make cake, too) and we won't be doing any toasts with wine or knocking back delicious Blue Moon wheat beer. I'm still deciding whether to follow the trend of meatloaf cupcakes like my coworkers made for our office manager or if we should do something else. Some of my family members will find what I'm doing strange and the concept hard to grasp...so cupcakes like those would be overkill. They're cute though!!

At the moment, I feel challenged because we will be going out to eat a whole lot this weekend...I hope to do well (stay away from carbs sans ice cream) and stick with my plans. I'm not sure how much time I will have to write in Mostly Beautiful...but will try to update.

In case I don't get to catch my thoughts til Monday, have a great weekend. :)

Oh, my gosh...Cauliflower Mash

I steamed two heads of cauliflower florets then put a little of the hot water in my blender, then some cauliflower, then some butter, garlic, real cream, parmesan and monterey jack cheese (just a little bit of each)...and WOAH. I could have used a little less liquid to make the "faux-tatoes" not so runny, but they were so SO good. I can tell that a reheat will let go of some of that water and then they'll be perfect consistency. And flavor? Unbelievable. And carbs? Only 1.5g per half cup. Not bad! And fiber? Whole Foods says there are nearly 12 grams in every 100 calories of cauliflower. That's quite good.

I am no fan of cauliflower when it's raw. And I really don't like it all that much when it's cooked. But, add all the horrible-for-you stuff (really, such small amounts) and it turns into amazing soup. AMAZING. I mixed in chives at the end. Seriously, try this.

I may even try to sautee next time because this turned out so well. (I'm kind of convinced that cauliflower CAN taste good).

Check out this page from World's Healthiest Foods (a resource I use for recipes and nutrition info.)

Group Morning.

Aside from Ivana, I was the only person to show up at group this morning. I don't know why the others were unable to make it or if they've decided to opt out of the program. I have to say that the program, by ALL appearances, seems kind of whack and burdensome. That makes sense. Like any meal plan, there are pros and cons to using this one.

If you love pasta and potatoes like I do...the very idea of eliminating them from your diet is well, daunting is too gentle a word. If you worry about heart attack and stroke as much as I do...horrific is along the lines of what this mentally feels like.

Physically, I can't really compare just yet because I'm bogged down by some kind of cold or flu or yuck feeling thing. I'll let you know when that's been kicked if I feel much physical difference aside from the reasonable amount of pep I have acquired for having shed the pounds.

But! Back to the meeting this morning!

Ivana arrived and we talked about different ideas I could use for breakfasts because I get kind of tired of eggs - even though I like them - and she was cool about giving me some tips. Just sitting there, I found myself coming up with tips of my own, too. It's amazing what a few minutes away from your world of responsibility can do for your mind. I felt clear and focused and able to think about the things I have been eating and what things I intend to try and so forth.

Thank goodness for no and low carb recipes. They are so much fun to try and make, too. I love it when I discover something as if it's new. Tonight, I am going to attempt to make cauliflower mash... and somehow it is supposed to be mashed potato goodness without the calories or the carbs. I'll let you know how that turns out. :)

If I do really well on this meal plan, I think I will start publishing recipes for other people who, like me, had no use for veggies and were unconvinced they could ever taste great. Because they do. Crazy, right? ;)

The day or so before weigh-in

Every week, just before weigh-in, my body awareness is heightened. I touch my hips, my thighs, my stomach and my butt a lot just to see if they "feel" the same. I watch the rings on my fingers to judge whether they're tight or loosened. For some reason, I feel like a sausage before a weigh-in. I think: I've had to have gained this week. Even when I've done everything I can to stay with my meal plan.

This week, I'm thinking it is impossible to have lost weight. I've had corned beef and cabbage, steak and green beans, egg breakfasts, bacon, sausage, lettuces, cheese for snacks...and my morning tea, of course. I feel -fat- today.

My weigh-in is on Wednesday and I'm not convinced that I haven't gained some weight. My clothes fit okay. I don't like my stomach. The way it feels when I run my hand over my middle, over my shirt gives me pause.

I haven't been exercising all week. Not really. I was gung ho, now I'm ho-hum about it, mainly because I'm at war with a head cold. So far, I've been winning and it hasn't been able to make roots....but it keeps coming back and then I have to fight it off all over again...with sheer will power and cough drops and lots of fluids.

I need to be drinking more water.

I know I'm doing SOMEthing to the fat cells in my body because the places that were once hard to press into, such as my calves and my abdomen, have turned supple. I can't help poking at them to see how my finger makes a dent. Nothing is jelly-like right now, but these places have definitely loosened. My skin is less taught.

My trainer, Barb, says the fat will turn jelly-like and skin will get loose as I lose the weight...and obviously training is the answer to keeping the skin from dropping from my frame when we're finished.

Is it crazy to be excited about "jelly-like?" because I am. Because it means the fat cells are shrinking.

I hope this head cold feeling will finally get gone because I really do feel like doing nothing while it swims around in my skull. In my heart, I want to be doing something to advance in my weight loss journey. In my head, I'm not convinced that I haven't gained and screwed it all up this week. The numbers will say.

Veggies Now?

I give you a picture in lieu of a long post. This is left over corned beef and cabbage - the remains of which I had for dinner this evening. Before this diet, I'd never eaten the cabbage served with corned beef every St. Patrick's Day at mom's house. I can't say I LOVE it, but it doesn't make me gag the way I thought it would. Not in the least.

My friend Vet asked me if something has changed because a few years ago I said I really disliked vegetables...and I did. I don't know what's different now. Maybe that I like fresher foods? We were raised on (mostly) canned veggies and those are kind of yuck. Whatever has changed, I'm glad it has because I have to eat a lot of them!

Bolognese Lunch with Mehmet Oz

Yeah, I decided to finish the leftover bolognese sauce for lunch this afternoon. I had broccoli, too. No pasta was a -little- difficult, but I felt good about what I had when it was over. At this moment I am awaiting that old corned beef and cabbage meal my mother insists on every St. Patrick's Day. It's what's for dinner.

I know I food logged more specifically before I joined the group at Yourishment...but I decided not to do so while I'm using the program. I don't think that would be fair to Ivana or her business - however! I can tell you things I am making and share recipes occasionally and cry a little when I tell you things like there are no carrots, no potatoes in that pot on the stove. It's just mean old cabbage bubbling up with the corned beef. Boo. Hoo.

I do miss potatoes. And did you catch Dr. Oz this morning on Elvis Duran's show? He totally dissed skim milk and recommended the diet I'm following (roughly). Since he has a lot of pull, I imagine a lot more people will be joining me in this undertaking. What irks me quite a bit about Dr. Oz is that his branding company stamps his name on ideas - as if he came up with them. Take this article in TIME magazine, for instance. In it, the writer shares what's now good vs. evil in the food industry...according to "The Oz Diet." Uhm. That diet has only been around for thousands of years. Genius.

So, while I like that Dr. Oz is drawing more Americans away from unhealthy processed "white" foods, I dislike that he essentially cops the credit. Be nicer, Doc!

And I feel kind of cool being ahead of the Oz curve on this one. It is a similar feeling to when you like an "unheard of" band and they suddenly become celebrity and you're like "Pff...I've been their fan since they were sharing one pack of ramen noodles." I just hope I'm not going to see the possible tail end of this. You know: "Uhm. (insert name of band that everybody is really really sick of, and you "found" them first.) They are SO. LAME." Total disassociation. Hah!! Don't let me down, crazy diet.

P.S. The foods I'm cutting make my diet a little more extreme than what Oz suggests, but I feel safer this way. As a carbs addict, it is easier to abstain than try a little for right now. With me, you have to think like this: Would you offer a recovering alcoholic a glass of wine? No? Then don't offer Wendy anything with a big carb count. OKAY? THANKS!

On Being "Mostly Beautiful"

You already know what I'm talking about. I've spent a lot of my life being "gorgeous" and "really pretty" and all things attractive with that big IF word following right along. "Wendy, you're gorgeous. If only you could lose the weight." "You know, you're really pretty. If you lost weight, you'd be AMAZING."

Today, I feel mostly beautiful all of the time.

Maybe it would help to stop telling little girls they are pretty with the IF word or the BUT word attached. It's hard to feel attractive...only this much. That "You would be even more if..." just sinks like a rock to the bottom of your soul.

I'm still struggling with who I see in the mirror.

Less of that, please.

Down WHAT?!

I weighed in at the gym today. I started the Yourishment plan on Monday and completely cut out simple carbs and increased fat in my diet. I'm down FOURTEEN pounds since last week's weigh-in. I don't know that this great a loss is going to happen again, so I thought I'd jot it here. I need someone to gape at it with me. I haven't stopped gaping since I stepped on the scale about an hour ago.

Lately, I have felt like I've lost weight, but I haven't been able to tell where the weight may have been lost from... and yet I remained skeptical that I'd lost any weight at all because I'm eating fattier meats and using real butter and stuff. So, I got on the scale today hoping whatever number showed up was going to help me feel sane and more grounded in whatever reality turned out to be. If I did lose, I figured it would have been a pound or two like I've been doing on my own before Yourishment with Ivana started. If I'd gained, I thought it would be at least 5, maybe 10 for all the bacon I cooked up this week.

I feel pretty good, though. I still get tired a little bit during the day, but not as desperately. I can eat lunch and skip a nap if I want to without any cost to the rest of my day. Something's working out right here on week one. I hope the remaining weeks will be as kind. I'm still fretting over blood work, but I don't get that again until a 3 month period is over. We'll see if this fat is kicking my cholesterol around or not. I sure eat eggs a lot. We'll see.

Okay, gape with me. :o I am full of wonder at this occurrence.

What do you think?

In the interest of "What am I buying into?" I am still researching the 'net for information about this very low carbs diet and the eat more fat idea. I came across this post, which I may have overlooked in the past. I would have probably ignored the mentions author Aneli Rufus placed in this quick read; however, today I took a moment to check it out and really think it over.

That's not to say I wasn't hesitant 'cause I was. I think my willingness to listen, though, is a sign that American people are changing how they think about what they eat and who has permission to tell them what to do. I have to admit, I've been a GREENaphobic. I do like recycling. I do try to limit waste. I do care about our planet and how animals are treated. I've just been afraid of the extremist weirdos who get mixed in.

But, maybe I am becoming part weirdo... because I feel like I'm beginning to be okay with how I view life and food and who tells us what to do. Some of what I feel aligns with GREENophiles. Some of what I feel aligns with the Conservative Christian. A lot of what I feel is...just, plain care. For me, for you, for everything.

How about you? Opinions on the story I linked to are welcomed.

I've got TIME.

Just about to get dinner going... we're grilling burgers (Hopper has veggie burger) & zucchini and having leftover rutabaga mash. I'm tempted to add a small salad, too.

I am slightly euphoric this evening because, like most other Americans, our office is closed tomorrow and I don't have to go to work. I work at the radio station 7 days a week...so a day off is quite precious. I love to be there and I love to be on the radio when I can...but I love that I have a whole entire Monday to spend at home.

I've booked the time with Hopper to get her room picked up (because it is unbelievably cluttered and needs a big, big purge-fest). It may take us the entire day to clean...be worth it, though.

We're walking again tonight because we were lazy buggers on Thursday last week. Back to our normal schedule Tuesday. :)

One cool thing is the amount of time it takes us both to get a mile in is coming down...by just a few minutes right now, but there's promise of a future in this time reduction. That's the kind of motivation I need to keep going. She's doing GREAT on there and I marvel at her power - which she loves.

It's being a pretty nice weekend. I hope yours is, too. Almost burger time here, so I am off to prep zucchini. Love! I've got TIME to just be with my friends and family tomorrow. That is all kinds of nice.

More Fat? REALLY?

You know I'm reducing carbs in my diet, right? I have been able to keep from breads, pasta, fruits, milk (yes, milk has 12g of carbs per serving) carrots, peas and potatoes for...it's been since Monday. Nearly a week. Wow!!! I'm not tempted by the pantry full of them in the kitchen except for when I'm feeling hungry.

So far, on this food plan, I'm feeling hungry a lot. So, I wrote to Ivana. Do you know what she said? "You are not eating enough fat." WHAT?! My mind rejected the logic immediately. I thought, "Okay, what if Ivana's doing some kind of odd experiment with fat people to see whether they will 'buy' the idea that a diet of high fat, low carbs is going to make them lose weight."

Sorry, Ivana, I do appreciate you and I know you to be an informed, intelligent woman...but my mind went there.

Eat more fat. That can't be real. I didn't believe it. So, I did what any overweight fat-obsessed woman would do. I sought Google for wisdom. Keywords: "EAT FAT TO LOSE WEIGHT" "LOW CARBS HIGH FAT" "IS IVANA STRAIGHT TRIPPIN ME?"

Google spit out a number of opinionated forums and a couple of websites, including the blog of Dr. Michael Eades. I absorbed the information he posted on his website about lowering carbs and increasing fats, increasing water, lowering caffeine... a lot of his opinions made sense when spelled out with metabolic explanations of biochemistry attached. "Huh..." I though to myself. "Huh." and kept reading.

Dr. Eades's blog has become my Cake of the Day - a term my best friend ever (BFE) uses often with me because I find something to love with PASSION and WOW! pretty much every day and I soak up as much as I can about it until exhaust both of us with too much info. Cake of the Day can literally be cakes decorated in some sort of theme or it can be blogs full of info like this.

Dr. Eades says MORE FAT, MORE FAT! and explains the body's process of switching from using carbs for energy to using fat instead... ah! See? This makes sense. And I still feel like I am some sort of whacky experiment, but I'm not willing to let go of this food plan just yet. It's only been about a week.

I do want you to know that while I am not eating grains, I AM getting fiber from the green veggies that I eat. I'm learning to drink more water (this is a tough one for me!) and I can totally eat spaghetti squash with a homemade bolognese sauce and LOVE it.

I had black forest bacon from Whole Foods for breakfast today...which was amazing and so good. I paired it with an egg scramble into which I added: sauteed mushrooms, spinach, yellow pepper, onion and broccoli. The result: a very, very delicious breakfast we all really loved. My daughter, the vegetarian, had fake sausage with her eggs, but the result was the same: deeeelicious.

I'm still not entirely convinced that more fat is the key to dropping pounds; however, in the interest of seeing things through I'd like to go ahead with the plan and give it fair effort. I'll judge later, when I see how my body responds via scale numbers and blood work. That's one thing I wouldn't do this without: the companionship of my own medical records and my physician.

Exercise is a bit slow-going still because I'm not out of the tired rut yet, but that is promised to come. I am; however, walking with Hopper tonight as planned. We have a date to do so at 9:30. :)

But, yeah, can you believe that idea? MORE FAT?! I am a little intimidated.

Denying the CarbMonster

Do you have any idea how tough it is to stop eating foods you love? I thought it was going to be harder than this. Maybe I am just in a honeymoon phase with my new diet plan, but I'm not having cravings of baked potatoes and dinner rolls or plates full of pasta right now.

I've been attracted to No/Low Carbs bloggers for quite a long time. One of the chicks I follow has lost an enormous amount of weight by cutting out carbs except for her occasional beer and I've watched her weight go down (and I've watched what she puts on her plate because she photographs it)... bacon and avocado are staple foods for her... and low or no carb veggies and, of course, meat.

So, my own choice to go without simple carbs has been on my mind for a very, very long time. I've just been afraid to try it. It has only been three days since letting go of them (or choosing lower carbs options) and I really thought I would miss them.

I am a pasta FIEND. A baked potato lover, too. But, I'm okay right now. I made a meatloaf recipe that turned out amazingly great. Check it out:

Minced fresh mushrooms, minced fresh onion, minced fresh garlic sauteed on med-low heat in part butter, part olive oil til the onions were soft. Let cool. In a separate bowl mix ground beef, 1 egg, a little cream (cream has no carbs. milk has carbs!) and then add your mushroom mixture in. Mush it all together, stick it in a loaf pan, top with uncooked bacon strips - yes, bacon strips - and bake at 350 F for 70 minutes. I drained all the grease out of the pan and let it rest once it was finished baking...and then even gave it a few minutes under the broiler to crisp up the bacon.

We had the meatloaf with a lower-carb option: rutabaga mash instead of potatoes, and steamed fresh green beans. I'm telling you, it was delicious. The meatloaf wasn't missing the bread - the mushroom bits and the egg did all the work.

That was fun to make.

It's been a full day. Dinner has me feeling full, too. I'm really surprised that I'm not ripping open boxes of rice or noodles to satisfy a carbs monster craving...but I'm not. At least not today.