The Seinfeld Schedule

Once upon a time I felt success. It came from getting on my treadmill every day for a week, and soon every day for two. Then a month. Then 74 days came and went and I was still getting on the treadmill in my bedroom, pumping up the speed and beating out however much mileage I could cover for however long I could reasonably stay on without becoming bored, irritated or angry. I was so glad of myself then. I'd reached a few pre-set mental milestones and was feeling the win....then I quit.

It was a flu-like bugger that rendered me helpless. I was bedridden one, then a few days. And on those days I managed to allow my mind to believe I'd failed. I didn't make 75 days. Part of me wished to get back on the treadmill and resume count, and I couldn't. I'd have to start the count over.

So I didn't go on the treadmill again. Not for ages. As in 10 months.

Call it a New Year scramble or what-have-you...I am walking again. I started this Monday and am on day four. Rather than spew all my hopes at this blog post (and set expectations!) I am only letting you know that I'm four days in...this minute.

I'm Gonna Be Startin' Somethin'

There's always room for another fresh start. I am deeply considering a project ME opportunity. I've talked with Ivana about it and with my newly-found image consultant Deb...and I believe they will both participate. I can't tell you ALL details, but I can tell you that at least 1 new podcast will launch from my website before Labor Day this year...and that means a great deal of self focus.

I will be an ordained Interfaith minister this summer and to that end I plan to be involved with internet radio and podcasting - I will be in the public eye more so my image is even more important to me than it was when I could hide in a studio and simply be a voice.

Deb is going to help me find my image...because at the moment I stick to comfortable bum clothes while at the radio station and comfortable slightly nicer than bum clothes while working on the office side. What I want to do is wear the clothes I enjoy the look and feel of (mainly dresses, skirts) but can't find a practical reason to wear.  I hate shopping for clothes. I hate being in any one store for too long. I hate checkout counters. I hate the anticipation of being able to get out of there and on with my day. I feel like a guy shopper - I like to know what i want, get what i want, and get out.

Most of the time that means without trying anything on.

But, when I get something I really really like, I try it on and check it in the mirror, and make everyone around me take a look. I have been known to sleep in boots I fell in love with. Raincoats, too. Bathing suits. Just for the first night home.

So, while I hate the feel of being in a store, I love the feel of wearing something I truly like. A dilemma Deb will help with as she merges my wants with my needs for accommodating my body size, shape. Good luck to her!

So, Ivana: Nutrition. Cara: Wellness Deb: Image. Barb: Fitness. I have had to scale back a lot of things since my mom became ill. I am paying mom's bills. I'm meeting with Barb today to see whether she and I can pick back up...to see if she is willing to join me in my new project ME which I am going to make public if all goes according to plan. First, I have to secure my "A Team." Then, I have to convince two industry acquaintances that project ME is a worthwhile endeavor and that they should climb aboard. If I am able to do what I want to (but am afraid to!) I will have something big to tell you soon.

ME, convincing someone else that I am worthwhile.

Holy smoke, what has therapy done to my brain?  Where did this confidence come from?

Can I keep it?