Maybe I Need Therapy

I find that when I've got time to prepare meals (or portions of them) ahead of time, I do so much better on this thing. It's when I've run out of ingredients for things I'd planned to make (the people around here eat things up very quickly) that I have a very difficult time sticking to it.

So, I've got today at home while I'm trying to piece together things for/about my mom and her health care and home and work money troubles and I've got butternut squash in the oven. Spaghetti squash is next. Then I'll make a meat loaf and crumble up some beef and store it.

It's the little things that help me feel prepared and supplied and able. Without that feeling of being supplied, I go straight for the drive-thru.

And lately I've considered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because it's like I'm wired wrong up there. If things have not been "just so" then I have tended to quickly and easily get derailed which means I am stuck at this weight...because I'll do really, very well for a while, then something will happen and I stop swimming. I sink.

So, yeah. I am really not afraid to pull out all the stops and try every tool. I sincerely want to break through barriers, not just leap over them to do a few laps around just to leap over them again. Like, I have to wonder is this something mental? Is it really JUST will power?