Thursday, September 3, 2015

Do What You Have to Do.

"Your blog is total bullshit. You and your mother love the drama and stress. Jimmy was so bad to you. Yet you were never homeless or hungry. Stop blaming the [redacted] family for your problems. Your mother knew about and allowed any and all abuse you suffered. Shame on you for making your "story" everyone's business. If you need to talk about, see a psychiatrist! Don't contact my family again, ever."  My sister in law sent that (over Facebook) sometime in the past month.

I'm having trouble sleeping because my oldest step sister has stopped talking to me again. Just stopped cold. I'd thought it was strange and didn't expect it would happen again but it did.

I got that Facebook msg. and am pretty sure it's why.

My sister-in-law's msg. is in response to one of my previous blog posts (in which my family was disliked during an incident when I was 9) The incident was one that had a big impact on my emotional health and was/is obviously from a 9 year old's perspective. In the update I posted, I chose to view the incident differently and then, with help from my counselor, sought to learn how she (this particular step sibling who I was hoping to reconnect with) experienced -me- as a kid.

Maybe I was an intolerable pain in the ass. How would I know? But I haven't heard from her since attempting that...and I recently tried once more. That note from an angry sister-in-law is the only thing that can explain why.

What is there to say? Do? That isn't just going to perpetuate drama even more? Contrary to the idea that I love it, I'm doing very OK without it.  I'll sort my emotions out with professional help. Have done. Will continue to.

Meanwhile, here's to what is best for all involved.

I may still blog occasionally and I may still write personal things. Writing and blogging is how I sort stuff out. Nothing is of malice. I understand you have to do what you have to do. Fare thee well.

Sheesh!