Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Where've I Been?
If you remember, I thought it might be a good thing to see about some kind of therapy to help me succeed in my weight loss. I'm not on Biggest Loser where I can look Bob in the face and WAH my woes. Sometimes I feel so good about life and how things are going that I don't feel like I have any woes. But something keeps me fat, and it isn't my want for health that does it. So, I've taken a detour from my low carbs diet (which I repeatedly-yet-unhappily sabotaged) and I started talking to Cara (pron. CARuh). She's introduced me to some pretty whacky shit - like mandalas and drawing and is integrating music and meditation into our sessions.
While doing weird things feels strange, the experience seems to be helpful. I can better put words to it a little bit later. Right now I'm full of feelings and thoughts that I can't comfortably articulate, but I've missed blogging and I've missed your presence and comments and I've missed feeling INCREDIBLE and awesome - that's how I felt living low carb.
I have some mental and emotional work to do if I want the things Ivana is/has been teaching me to "stick" and become my lifestyle...and because I do want to live comfortably in my skin, I'm going to keep seeing Cara. And I'm going to be in touch with Ivana, my nuritionist, because I've not been very much. And I may even get back to seeing Barb when I'm ready.
I could just keep going and stopping, going and stopping, going and stopping and take both Barb and Ivana on the ride with me, but I fear I'd wear them out as much as I wear myself out. They've both proven willing to hang with me through success and failure alike - just like you have. I don't want to take any of us for a ride, though. I want to stop screwing up what's good and enjoy that. Easy right?