Because I said so.

I'm a good mother. I have a weight problem. My husband has a weight problem. Our daughter has had odd growth spurts since birth where she will remain short and stout then grow taller and slimmer. She's high school age now and the taller and slimmer phases have decreased in frequency. She's short (sorry, kid!) and slowly developing heaviness in her body that I am wary of.

I've talked with a few people here or there. I've read expert suggestions from magazines. I've done the whole "if you ignore it and just model good behavior they will pick up on that" thing and the "take charge of their diet without mentioning that your child is gaining weight" thing to very little cooperation from the child.

People say not to tell your kid they are gaining weight or that they are fat or could be getting fat and yet I know my kid's potential destiny based on her genetics alone is to become overweight and possibly unhappy and probably unhealthy and while I'm aware of the mental repercussions, I can't stand by and say nothing or hope the extra few pounds away.

She is not grossly overweight and she is not problematic, she's not skinny with a little meat on her either. She's growing a tummy and her legs have thickened (sorry, kid!) over time. She has her dad's frame, but my stature.

I realize I am at risk writing anything about this because when it comes to parenting there are bazillions of opinions. When it comes to parenting a kid who needs to utilize a healthier diet and exercise more, there are even MORE opinions. Whatever! To me, it would be horrible parenting if I just stood by and said/did nothing.

So, I told Hopper yesterday that I can see her weight becoming problematic. I told her that skipping the lunches I make for her doesn't help (she is so a lunch skipper) not just because it is a waste of pretty good/healthy food, it's not helping her metabolism any to skip it. I explained that she can easily get a handle on the weight gain right now and that I'll help because I'm working on handling my own.

Well, she listened. Maybe weeks ago she wouldn't have listened, but she sees me working now and maybe that's the difference? I can't say. She IS in her teens and DOES care about being attractive (but not to the extent of most girls) and she's willing to work with me on this.

So, we made a deal: I'll continue help her put good food stuff together, but she has to eat it - and she has to eat at at least 5 times a day. And we'll exercise together on my off days from the gym (UGH!!!!!! But, I will do it for her.)

Later, when I was feeling insecure and like a bad mother for pointing out her problem areas, I asked her if she felt I was picking on her, hated her, thought she was the biggest lard ever... and she laughed and said no. She said she understands/recognizes her weight is getting out of hand and it's a good time to do something about it. She's not going to turn bulimic or anorexic or need psychotherapy and she knows I love her and I'm only looking out for her so she doesn't have to struggle so much at forty like this old hag she knows.

So, I'll be a skeptic and make sure she didn't REALLY take me that way, but I have a hunch she was cool with it and isn't going extreme teen on me. (and I'll pray.) But, yeah, I think we got through that talk okay... and well...now I have to exercise tonight. Walkin the walk, me.