When DOES it become a habit?

I am so not into a habit of going to the gym. I am into a daily conversation over whether I am going to the gym and what I am going to do there - and then my evilbrain steps in with its own "ahem" list of excuses that I can choose from if I'd rather. I have come to accept that I have to allow a moment for my evilbrain to think of why I can't, wouldn't or shouldn't go to the gym on a gym day (MON WED FRI) and then I have to allow for my rational mind to reason away the excuses.

Sometimes the excuses win...just a little. I think if I didn't let myself "mess up" sometimes I'd get angry at this process and say "fuck it all" and quit it. Then again, I have to be careful not to let myself give in (as opposed to messing up) because it is just as easy to continue making diet and exercise mistakes on purpose to eventually say the same thing.

Let me tell you about my weekend: I DID NOT FOOD BLOG! I had a friend visit, I had a lot of running around/dining out to do and I let myself just -be- for the weekend. I didn't blog, I didn't food log, I didn't go to the gym after Friday and I still found myself making pretty good choices. Twice, I totally over-ordered food.... by that I mean I felt "so hungry I could eat a house," so I'd ordered the kitchen, only to begin eating and then realize that I can't possibly eat a kitchen. My own body shut me down when enough was enough before I could grab for more. I felt full and kind of lazy and a little achey, for instance, after some time spent at an Italian restaurant where I had 1 piece of garlic bread, about 4 zucchini sticks and 1 slice of a small pizza (it was a gorgeous spinach, ricotta, tomato, garlic + a little bit of bacon pizza). 1 slice. Yep, that's it.  I grew up eating entire pizzas of this size. 

By being a little bad with the diet, I feel very, very good - I feel very, very healthy both mentally and physically. The weekend was an eye-opener when it came to appetite, certainly, but it also taught me that I can choose "whatever" and still be just fine. I don't have to say "fuck it all," to have a good time. I can manage, and do a pretty good job, and resume my food log and diet routine without guilt or pain.... because my body knew when enough was enough.

So...when does going to the gym become a habit? Because I am totally skipping today. I told you sometimes the evilbrain wins.

Just don't tell it that I'm going to use the home treadmill tonight. There is no way I am giving up that mile I worked all this time for. No. Way.