The Overachievers Club

Hi, my name is Wendy. I have been a chronic overachiever for the past forty years.

Sadly, my story is reflected back to me in the faces of the other women who have joined our Yourishment group. I found (yesterday at group) that we are all super dynamo types who do their best at so many things that there is little to no time spent taking care of our own bodies and safekeeping. Energy just fizzles out by the time we could fit ourselves in.

And there's a common thread as to why we do so much. It's probably not restricted to women who want to lose weight and be healthier, but that it's such a frontrunner response to the reasons we work so hard at what we do that I wanted to mention it here: we want so much to be recognized.

Recognized as what? By whom? That varies.

What's funny to me and doesn't seem to vary is that we've each put on weight trying to be recognized. Kind of a backwards way to get noticed, don't you think? Now, I can't say that's even accurate of me to point out because I'm not sure what my group mates are doing or thinking, I've only just met them. It just showed up during the initial hellos, this red light of an idea that while we're tired and personal energy is a commodity in short supply...we're working our asses ON hoping to get recognized. I have no idea if this really is a psychological issue or if it's just a funky thought that makes me go "...huh." but it reminds me of an exercise I learned in seminary first year.

Practice this with someone who can dig it and take it more like seriously...and you'll be surprised by the power and authenticity of having said and done this:

Person 1 speaks: "I am here to be seen."
Person 2 speaks: "And I see you." (pause) "I, too, am here to be seen."
Person 1 speaks: "And I see you."

I'm delighted to have classmates to see and be seen by - their acknowledgment makes such a difference in my well-being. Maybe I can bring this exercise to my next group meeting...because yeah, doing so much to be everything good to everybody we can is very tiring and self-defeating.

I haven't been as zealous to turn so many heads in....about five or six months, I'd say...and I do credit that exercise and my classmates who are right there to say "I see you" and my close friends, too. I AM here to be seen. I AM here to see you.

There's a famous quote by June Carter Cash that (for her) was said in haste, but (for me) has remained a truth. Someone asked her what she was up to and she said, "I'm just trying to matter!"

Aren't we all?