I MADE ZUCCHINI MY BITCH

I have finally learned the zucchini-noodle-making process. I've spent months trying to make proper noodles out of zucchini only to end up with lumpy, but delicious, goopy mess. We still ate it because it tasted good...but tonight...(tonight!) I totally did it right and well.

I didn't know we owned a mandolin, but it is the best invention ever for making zucchini do what you want it to. Yes! :) And it even looked like this when I was finished cooking!

The girls ate and liked it. I paired it with a zesty pasta sauce and made some eggplant parm to go on the side - which they ate up, too. My niece is staying with us for a little while and she's trying new things and not even gagging through it. Win!

Protein vs Carbs for Breakfast

I use Lose It! to food log and be accountable with my friend JD who is on there to drop a few pounds himself - he is a madman when it comes to walking and exercise and is very inspiring!

But that's not why I'm here right now. I wanted to tell you about a blog post I made on Lose It! a number of weeks ago when, after eating a bagel, I felt damned near lethargic. Fatigue was in my every single fiber, I kid you not. I queried on the Lose It! forum about it and got a range of responses, including a moderator who told me there was no freakin' way I would feel that horrible that quickly. She mentioned that blood sugar changes wouldn't be that fast...and maybe she is right. I can tell you I felt like absurdly tired and could barely, barely function at my DESK JOB within minutes of killing that bagel.

I have to think it's the carbs? The sugar? I felt next to comatose - no exaggeration.

This morning I overate. I had a big breakfast with steak and eggs and I even tried some sausage because I was weeeeak looking at it. I overate and should have felt the way I do after Thanksgiving dinner, but I did not at all. Fatigue wasn't even a factor.

I can GUARANTEE you that if I had an english muffin or bagel or plated myself some hashbrowns or home fries or had a biscuit on top of it all, I would not have been able to drive afterward.

That's the difference between protein & veg breakfasts versus simple and sometimes even complex carbs (not that I bothered with veg this morning. I was horrible!)

It is really hard staying away from carbs because they taste good or look good or bring fond memories at times...but the trade off? That feeling of sludge in my veins? It just isn't worth it.

Not. At. All.

I HATE feeling so tired and disabled.

Today's pure protein breakfast beat the shit out of wanting a bagel or biscuit. For real.

Whhhhhhhhhew.

Still going well with the low carbs choices. Could do better with the not-so-drive-thru choices, so I bring things from home regularly. I'm working on ways to pare down my hours of working on everything else so I can relax and be me and do what I need through all of this.

My niece has moved in with me. My mom wants to next.

Imagine!

Days off are amazing....!

I think I mentioned that I've taken a couple of days off per week so that I can catch up on homework to maybe graduate this year...and to have a whole day or two to handle mom's affairs because I've been working my two and a half part time jobs seven days a week and SHE HAS MANY AFFAIRS. I now do her job for her company which...well...makes for the need to take days off. Fortunately, I work for the greatest people who recognize that I could use this kind of help and they're OK with it.

So, I started the day by taking Hop to school - something I don't normally get to do - and enjoyed conversation with her. I went to the grocery store to stock up on some squash and laundry detergent, came home, put stuff away, fed the dogs, fed the cats and put this in the oven.

I made mine without scallions...and I greased the tin with a little butter, not spray stuff. Also, I baked them about 3 minutes more than was called for - but that is because I dislike goopy white parts in my eggs.

That's what's for breakfast. I did it for ME (and for all the great people and reasons I choose be in good health) and I pray this is the start of a very good day.

The best White Food ever

I am on my 3rd day of low carbs. It's tough to get away from them once I get sucked in, but I've been constant in trying to eat enough protein, veg & fat to keep cravings for them and just overall hunger from taking over.

This feels like the most ridiculous diet to ever imagine or attempt...yet I know it works for so many others and it is working for me. My favorite food on this meal plan is: Cauliflower. It can mock so many things, from "tater tots" to mashed potatoes to pizza crust and is incredible. It's my cherished "white food."

½ cup cauliflower (50 grams): 1.5 grams effective (net) carbohydrate plus 1 gram fiber and 12 calories.

See what I mean?

I hug it so much.

Last night's dinner is this morning's breakfast...

It is much easier to tote the container of chicken and zucchini in creamy tomato sauce than to go through the drive thru for some nasty sandwich that is only going to funk up my metabolism and cost me minutes on my way to work. right? right! I'm not zippy enough to want to cook a good breakfast just yet, so leftovers are my bff's right now.

Also, I will probably be hungry before I leave work, so I've packed a snack for when the hunger hits: spinach salad with pepperoni and cheese to go on top.

Let's hope this is enough to get me past fast food island from hell on my way home.

I did finish making a vat of chicken stock which, with a little ginger, makes INCREDIBLE eggdrop soup. I'm aiming to have that for lunch.

So, I have a plan. *NOD*

One Successful Day

I am happy to report that I've been low carbin' it for this entire day - successfully so! No drive thru crap for breakfast or lunch. I didn't even get myself something sugary while at the Dunkin Drive thru for somebody else.

I started the day with chicken, tomato & pepperoni breakfast - yes, I did - and proceeded to get groceries, do dishes, clean up the kitchen, get laundry done, talked to mom, called people regarding her business stuff, called her health care people, called her local pastor, and booked interviewees for this weekend's radio show.

And I had the whole day to do it with. I didn't have to crunch it all into four hours of after work crunch time. I. FEEL. GOOD.

I've had to do some uncomfortable things lately...like admit I can't do everything (why do I keep thinking I can?) and slowed myself down a LOT. Tomorrow, I will have a prepared breakfast AND lunch to keep me from getting messed up and to help me navigate past that Island of Drive-Thru Hell that I have to drive by every day to and from work.

I know from my past experience that preparedness is my best help with this stuff and I'm glad I had today to do things that would help me face tomorrow prepared for at least a good eating day.

It's only been one day without carbstuff and, while I still needed a midday nap, I feel...so good. Accomplished. And even energetic a bit. :)

You Might Want an Update.

Since I've been gone....

My mom's health has declined significantly. I am doing my best to work with doctors, nurses, clergy and others to somehow encourage her to try. She has a window of opportunity to choose to thrive or just exist in the state she is in now for her remaining years. months. weeks.

My cat has died. And as hard as it was to watch Crackers pass away, I'm glad we were home with him and tended to him. His death was heartbreaking, tender.

My big dog has survived major surgery. Simon doesn't know it, but he's probably the biggest light in our year so far - having made it through a very very complicated surgery. He still has some complications, but we're giving him love.

My littler dog has a bowel problem that may indicate a mass, but vets are cautious in diagnosing just yet (maybe because we have already been through so much?)

My mom's business has continued; though its financial situation is still a mystery. I am hoping to secure a lawyer who will help us figure that out.

My mom's personal bills keep coming in and one by one I'm doing what I can to pay them off with her minor income and my own paychecks. At times I have to use savings to make sure bigger things are taken care of, like homeowners insurance and stuff.

What am I doing for me...

Well, I am not dieting. I've gone back to a carbs-heavy, fast-food lifestyle. I am not "as bad" as I used to be, being more conscious of what I am doing every time I order at the drive thru and every time I shove carbs in my mouth....but I am still doing it and I know I am addicted to them. I want to go back to not eating them so heavily and readily, and go back to preparing meals more regularly for myself and my family, too.

I am not going to the gym. If you ate as many carbs as an addict as I have, you wouldn't be able to either. I sleep midday instead. I crash and I sleep.

I've made attempts to change back to the lots of greens, protein & high fats way of living, and I keep on trying to....and rushing through life, trying to handle too much gets me grabbing for what's easy: fast, processed crap.

But my mind knows this is not ok. My body doesn't FEEL good doing it. I can feel pounds adding back on - to my legs especially.

I'm not doing my homework - or wasn't - because I hadn't the energy or will to get it done.

Drastic times, drastic measures.

This is a fight. For my life.

So, I've asked for some time off from work - reduced a couple of days a week - to get myself "on track" however I can. I will begin with homework and cooking meals at home that I can bring with me to and from work and stuff - having food ready to heat and eat is what made me so successful prior to mid-January.

Small goals are what work for me, so if I can manage to get dinners to be carb-free (have been doing all this week) I will move on to fixing breakfasts. I know that once I've got this shit out of my system I will have no problem exercising.

Beginning again sucks. But the alternative is to be in bed like my mother.